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Mildred, mildred, how I love you so
Remember the joke you told me
While we had our midnight tea
That was the funniest joke I ever heard in my life
I didn't tell you then 'cause I was drinking the tea

Alfred, now alfred, you used to call me so
And told me how it would be nice to open a plant shop
That was the most sensible idea we had in our life
I didn't tell you then 'cause I was reading the papers

Mildred, oh, mildred, how I love you so
Remember how you were angry when I talked to the box
You kept trying to tell me something, something about your life
But I didn't hear you then 'cause I was watching the box

I bought a pot of plant now
And I'm watering it ev'ry day
I watched the late night talk show
And asked the man in a suit
Why he was laughing so when my wife was dead

He didn't reply
No, he didn't reply at all
And I burnt the box the next morning
And buried in our garden

Mildred, oh, mildred, how I miss you so
How I wish to tell you a lot of things about our life
But of course you aren't around, you aren't around no more
And I hear the box still laughing in the next door apartment