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You ought to ask Mr Mistoffelees, the original Conjuring Cat

sung
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn

MISTOFFELEES, spoken
Presto

COMPANY
And we all say
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
He is quiet, and small he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone
You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn

COMPANY
And we all say
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

COMPANY
And we all say
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
He's a marvel

COMPANY
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
Magical Mr Mistoffelees

COMPANY
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
You'll never believe it You'll never believe it

COMPANY
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
This cat defies belief

COMPANY
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
Can you believe this Before your very eyes

COMPANY
Oh Well I never Was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

RUM TUM TUGGER
Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Marvelous, Magical Mr Mistoffelees

MISTOFFELEES
Presto