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Look who I found
Enter Tom Collins
Computer genius, adjunct professor
And the undisputed coolest man to ever live in our apartment
He-hey

MARK & COLLINS
Bustelo, Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Look, it's Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

ROGER
Oh hi

COLLINS
Oh hi after seven months

ROGER
Sorry

COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
Oh, holy night

ROGER
You struck gold at MIT

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart to the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house

ROGER
I was waiting for you, don't you know

COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER
No flow

COLLINS
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard

ANGEL
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beats

ROGER
You earned that on the street

ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in the limousine drove my way
She said, Darling be a dear, haven��t slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear
This Akita, Evita, just won't shut up
I believe if you play nonstop, that pup
Will breathe its very last high strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

We agreed on a fee, a $1000 guarantee
Tax free and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here, that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour, Evita in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me

Back on the street where I met my sweet
When he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some Mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it

Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
I said today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow, oh whoa, for me