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My days are so busy
it's making me dizzy
There's so much I gotta do
There's lunches and meetings
and poetry readings
and endless interviews
Gotta pose for a portrait
and how I deplore
sitting there for eternity
Then it's off to the inn
Where my innkeeper friend
Wants to name a drink after me
Then it's back to my room
where I resume
My attempt to write a hit
Just me and my beer
and the terrible fear
That I might be losing it
And it's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's really hard
So very very hard
I make it look easy
but honey believe me
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's so
Incredibly hard
So inconceivably
unbelievably hard
It's hard to be the bard
Honestly
I don't know how I do it
There's only so much of me
to go around
I've got so many fans
With so many demands
I can hardly go take a piss
He can't pee
Be it theater-freak or
The autograph-seeker
They all want a piece of this
Gimme Gimme
It's a cross that I bear
I'm like Jesus I swear
It's a burden
but I suffer through it
He is suffering
It's all part of the game
The trappings of fame
But somebody's gotta do it
So he does it
And I know I know I gotta go
And get back to my pen and ink
Oh don't make me do it
Don't make me go through it
Can somebody get me a drink
'Cause it's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's really really hard
It's sexy but it's hard
This bar that I'm
Raising to be this amazing
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's hard
It's so
Annoyingly hard
So unavoidably unenjoyably hard
It's hard to be the bard baby
I know writing made me famous
but being famous is just
so much more fun You see
What people just don't understand
Is that writing's demanding
It's mentally challenging
and it's a bore
It's such a chore
TO sit in a room by yourself
Oh my god I just hate it
And you're trying to find
An opening line
or a brilliant idea
And you're pacing the floor
And hoping for just a bit
of divine intervention
That one little nugget
that one little spark
Then Eureka You find it
you're ready to start
So now you can write right
Wrong
You're not even close
you remember that damn it
Your play's gotta be
in iambic pentameter
So you write down a word
but it's not the right word
So you try a new word
but you hate the new word
And you need a good word
but you can't find the word
Oh where is it what is it
what is it where is it
Blah-blah-blah ha ha
ah-ha -UGHHHHHHHH
Sir
Hello
You asked for information on
what Nicholas Bottom is writing
Our spy is here with the news
Did he see me losing it
He's half blind sir
Oh good Then he only saw half
of it You see what I did
Ha ha Speak man
What news
I saw Nick Bottom I did
He paid a soothsayer to foresee
what Shakespeare's greatest
play would be
That sneaky little thief
Why doesn't he come up
with his own ideas
It's hard
No It is isn't it
It's really the worst
It's hard
Makes me wonder
why I didn't think of that first
It's hard
Hard to alleviate
the pressure to create
It's hard
Hard to do something as good
as the last thing
I did that was already great
It's hard
It's hard
So hard that he is stealing
from the bard
Well I'll hoist him by his petard
All I need is a clever disguise
Clever disguise
I'll make him pay
for those devious lies
Devious lies
Let him do all the tedious stuff
The work that's terribly
and unbearably hard
Cause it's hard
It's totally hard
It's hard
It's totally hard
It's hard
It's totally hard
I've got fortune and fame
Everyone knows my name
I can't help it
if it's so freakin' hard