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A Little Priest
Johnny Depp,Helena Bonham Carter
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (The Motion Picture Soundtrack)
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That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him

SWEENEY TODD
Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him

MRS. LOVETT
Oh yeah. Of course we could do that
I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him

Seems a downright shame...

TODD
Shame

MRS. LOVETT
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...

TODD
Ah

MRS. LOVETT
Good, you got it

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

simultaneously

TODD
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

MRS. LOVETT
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always

MRS. LOVETT
Think about it...

TODD
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know
How delectable
Also undetectable

MRS. LOVETT
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they
Think of
All them
Pies

TODD
How choice
How
Rare
For what's the sound of the world out there

MRS. LOVETT
What, Mr. Todd
What, Mr. Todd
What is that sound

TODD
Those crunching noises pervading the air

MRS. LOVETT
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, all around

TODD
It's man devouring man, my dear

BOTH
And/Then who are we to deny it in here

TODD, spoken
These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for

MRS. LOVETT
Here we are, now Hot out of the oven

TODD
What is that

MRS. LOVETT
It's priest. Have a little priest

TODD
Is it really good

MRS. LOVETT
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

TODD
Awful lot of fat

MRS. LOVETT
Only where it sat

TODD
Haven't you got poet, or something like that

MRS. LOVETT
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased
Try the priest

Lawyer's rather nice

TODD
If it's for a price

MRS. LOVETT
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

TODD
Anything that's lean

MRS. LOVETT
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been

TODD
Is that squire, on the fire

MRS. LOVETT
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer

TODD
Looks thicker
More like vicar

MRS. LOVETT
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green

TODD
The history of the world, my love --

MRS. LOVETT
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

TODD
Is those below serving those up above

MRS. LOVETT
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors

TODD
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH
That those above will serve those down below

TODD
What is that

MRS. LOVETT
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one

TODD
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run

MRS. LOVETT
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier

TODD
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy

MRS. LOVETT
Then actor
It's compacter

TODD
Ah but always arrives overdone

spoken
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

sung
Have charity towards the world, my pet

MRS. LOVETT
Yes, yes, I know, my love

TODD
We'll take the customers that we can get

MRS. LOVETT
High-born and low, my love

TODD
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone

BOTH
And to anyone
At all
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