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I think once
I took my first Vicodin
it was just like
this feeling of Ahh
You know
like everything was not only
mellow
but didn't feel any pain
It just didn't-
it just kind of numbed things
I don't know at what point
exactly it started to be a problem
I just remember likin' it
more and more
People tried to tell me
that I had a problem
I would say Get that fuckin'
person out of here
I can't believe
they said that shit to
me they know nothin'
about my fuckin' life
are they out of their fuckin' mind
I'm not out there shootin'
heroin I'm not out there
fuckin' you know puttin' coke
up my nosе I'm not smokin' crack
You're struggling with the
argument of Do you havе a
problem or do you not have a
problem Can you control it
or can you not
And I literally thought
I could control it
You're taking things that people
are giving you that you don't
even know what the fuck they are
They look like a pill
and they look- they're shaped like
something that you take
so you take it you know
Xanax Valium tomato-tomato
You know what I mean It's th-the
same thing it's all in the same
family fuck it take it
Had I had got to the hospital
about two hours later
I would've died
My organs were shutting down
my liver kidneys everything
They were gonna have to put me
on dialysis they didn't think
I was gonna make it
My bottom was gonna be death
within a month I had relapsed
And shot right back up to the
same amount of pills
that I was taking
I remember just walking around
my house and thinking every
single day like
I'm gonna fucking die
like I'm-I'm
looking at my kids
and I need to be here for this
Coming off of everything
I literally was up twenty-four
hours a day
for three weeks straight
And I mean not sleeping
not even nodding off
for a fucking minute
Like I was literally just up
like looking at the TV
I had to regain motor skills
I had to regain talking skills
It's been a-a learning process
like it's been I'm growing
I just couldn't believe that
anybody could ever be naturally
happy or naturally function
or be just enjoying life in
general without being
on something
So I would say that t-to
anybody that i-it does get
better you know It just- it does