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"Look, I was gonna go easy on
you not to hurt your feelings"
"But I'm only going to get this
one chance"
(Six minutes-, six minutes-)
"Something's wrong,
I can feel it"
(Six minutes, Slim Shady,
you're on!)
"Just a feeling I've got,
like something's about
to happen,
but I don't know what.
If that means
what I think it means,
we're in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as bananas
as you say,
I'm not taking any chances"
"You are just
what the doc ordered"
I'm beginnin' to feel like
a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front
to the back nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their arms are
long enough to slap box, slap box?
They said I rap like a robot,
so call me Rap-bot
But for me to rap
like a computer
it must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off
when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from
that rap profit
Made a livin' and a killin' off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was
still in office
With Monica Lewinsky
feelin' on his nutsack
I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude
and as indecent as all hell
Syllables, skill-a-holic
(Kill 'em all with)
This flippity dippity-hippity
hip-hop
You don't really wanna get
into a pissin' match
With this rappity brat,
packin' a MAC
in the back of the Ac'
Backpack rap crap, yap-yap,
yackety-yack
And at the exact same time,
I attempt these lyrical acrobat
stunts while I'm practicin' that
I'll still be able to break
a motherfuckin' table
Over the back of a couple
of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic,
I was signed to Aftermath
after the fact
How could I not blow?
All I do is drop F-bombs
Feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are havin' a rough time
period, here's a maxi pad
It's actually disastrously bad
for the wack
While I'm masterfully
constructing this masterpiece
'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel
like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front
to the back nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their arms are
long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintainin'
this shit ain't that hard,
that hard
Everybody want the key
and the secret
to rap immortality
like Ι have got
Well, to be truthful
the blueprint's
Simply rage
and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root
for a nuisance
Hit the Earth like an asteroid
Did nothing but shoot
for the Moon since (Pew!)
MCs get taken to school
with this music
'Cause I use it as a vehicle
to "bus the rhyme"
Now I lead a new school
full of students
Me? I'm a product of Rakim
Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N.W.A,
Cube, hey Doc, Ren
Yella, Eazy, thank you,
they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow
up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run?D.M.C.,
and induct them
Into the motherfuckin' Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame
Even though
I'll walk in the church
and burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame
I'll be inducted
in is the alcohol of fame
On the wall of shame
You fags think it's all a game,
'til I walk a flock of flames
Off a plank and,
tell me what in the fuck
are you thinkin'?
Little gay-lookin' boy
So gay I can barely say it
with a straight face,
lookin' boy (Ha-ha!)
You're witnessin' a mass-occur
Like you're watching a church
gathering take place, lookin' boy
"Oy vey, that boy's gay!"
that's all they say, lookin' boy
You get a thumbs up,
pat on the back
And a "way to go"
from your label every day,
lookin' boy
Hey, lookin' boy! What you say,
lookin' boy?
I get a "hell yeah" from Dre,
lookin' boy
I'ma work for everything I have,
never asked nobody for shit
Get outta my face, lookin' boy!
Basically, boy,
you're never gonna be capable
Of keepin' up
with the same pace,
lookin' boy, 'cause
I'm beginnin' to feel like
a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front
to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racin'
around the track,
call me NASCAR, NASCAR
Dale Earnhardt
of the trailer park,
the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod
This planet's Krypton-no,
Asgard, Asgard
So you'll be Thor and I'll be Odin
You rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off, then I'm reloadin'
Immediately with these bombs
I'm totin'
And I should not be woken
I'm the walkin' dead,
but I'm just a talkin' head,
a zombie floatin'
But I got your mom deep-throatin'
I'm out my Ramen Noodle
We have nothin' in common, poodle
I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself
in the arm and pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly futile
if I don't utilize what I do
though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere
in this chicken scratch
I scribble and doodle enough
rhymes
To maybe try to help get some
people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines
Just in case
'cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry lookin' at me
like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time
where once I
Was king of the underground
But I still rap like I'm on
my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes,
but sometimes
when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big
and here they come tryin'
To censor you like that one line
I said on "I'm Back" from
The Mathers LP 1 when I
Tried to say I'll take seven
kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line,
add an AK-47,
a revolver and a 9
See if I get away with it now
that I ain't as big as I was,
but I'm
Morphin' into an immortal,
comin' through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp
from 2004 though
And I don't know
what the fuck that you rhyme for
You're pointless as Rapunzel
with fuckin' cornrows
You write normal?
Fuck being normal!
And I just bought a new raygun
from the future
Just to come and shoot ya,
like when Fabolous made
Ray J mad
'Cause Fab said
he looked like a fag
at Mayweather's pad
Singin' to a man
while he played piano
Man, oh man, that was a 24/7
special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight
to the radio station
The very next day,
"Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!"
Lyrics comin' at you at
supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)
Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma,
you assumin' I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it
through to you I'm superhuman?
Innovative and I'm made of
rubber so that anything you say
is ricochetin' off of me
and it'll glue to you and
I'm devastating,
more than ever demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin'
audience a feeling like
it's levitating
Never fading,
and I know the haters
are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I
fell off, they'll be celebrating
'Cause I know the way
to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music,
you make elevator music
"Oh, he's too mainstream."
Well, that's what they do
when they get jealous,
they confuse it
"It's not hip-hop,
it's pop,"
'cause I found a hella way
to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc
Throw on "Lose Yourself"
and make 'em lose it
"I don't know
how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use."
Let me know when it occurs to you
While I'm rippin' any one of
these verses that versus you
It's curtains, I'm inadvertently
hurtin' you
How many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if you were half
as nice, your songs you could
sacrifice virgins too?!
Ugh, school flunky, pill junkie
But look at the accolades
these skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself 'cause I make me
do what I put my mind to
And I'm a million leagues
above you
Ill when I speak in tongues,
but it's still tongue-in-cheek,
fuck you
I'm drunk, so, Satan,
take the fucking wheel
I'ma sleep in the front seat
Bumpin' Heavy D and the Boyz,
still "Chunky but Funky"
But in my head there's something
I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils
and here's what
they want from me
They're askin' me to eliminate
some of the women hate
But if you take into
consideration the bitter hatred
I have, then you may
be a little patient
And more sympathetic
to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it, life's handin' you
lemons? Make lemonade then!
But if I can't batter the women
How the fuck am I supposed
to bake 'em a cake then?
Don't mistake him for Satan
It's a fatal mistake if you
think I need to be overseas
and take a vacation
To trip a broad, and make her
fall on her face and
Don't be a retard be a king?
Think not
Why be a king
when you can be a god?