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My knees kissed the carpet
every night before bed
Thanked a ghost for what he gave me,
promptly begged him for rest
Like now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul don’t leap
Up out my chest or heart or head,
I pray that I end up dead
Cousin pried open my legs,
left puddles and pain
So I prayed for a sign
but all that came was some shame
And a secret that I kept behind
my eyes wide shut
Between these taut lipped teeth
in these too tight lungs
Taught myself to breathe heavy,
bite bullets in time
Bought a cage to keep the nightmares
and terrors at bay
Crafted casket for the crouching
crowded hurt in my mind
Colored memories
when culprits had me dreaming in gray
Now I gaze at the sun
and think of who I used to pray to
The services attended
endeavoring to be saved
This religion that I clung
to got me looking to the page
Is it empty or infinity
that’s keeping me awake?
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can’t sleep
So I’m lifting up my window
just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars
won’t you hear my pleas
It’s apparent that the kid’s in need
I got 89 problems
and 10 more coming
Why won’t anybody listen to me
(See I’ve been) Looking for god
in everywhere but my head
(and I’ve been) Looking for peace
in every place but my heart
(And I searched) High and low,
near and far
But the time and the distance are
what made the wounds depart
I’ve been fighting like Attila the Hun
Think my Achilles is love
Ain’t no safety when all that’s
left is the smoke of the gun
Blood leaking teaches you
to fear being exposed
And every person represents
your next potential blow
So I couldn’t let him touch me,
couldn’t let her close
Couldn’t say I love you
when they needed it most
I’m sorry for the lessons I learned
at your expense
And I know it hurts that you can’t see
my growth in present tense
It’s funny
‘cause you said it would happen
You saw the future
I could barely imagine
Now I dream of us
when insomnia’s at bay
But rest assured
we’re better off this way
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can’t sleep
So I’m lifting up my window
just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars
won’t you hear my pleas
It’s apparent that the kid’s in need
I got 89 problems
and 10 more coming
Why won’t anybody listen to me
every night before bed
Thanked a ghost for what he gave me,
promptly begged him for rest
Like now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul don’t leap
Up out my chest or heart or head,
I pray that I end up dead
Cousin pried open my legs,
left puddles and pain
So I prayed for a sign
but all that came was some shame
And a secret that I kept behind
my eyes wide shut
Between these taut lipped teeth
in these too tight lungs
Taught myself to breathe heavy,
bite bullets in time
Bought a cage to keep the nightmares
and terrors at bay
Crafted casket for the crouching
crowded hurt in my mind
Colored memories
when culprits had me dreaming in gray
Now I gaze at the sun
and think of who I used to pray to
The services attended
endeavoring to be saved
This religion that I clung
to got me looking to the page
Is it empty or infinity
that’s keeping me awake?
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can’t sleep
So I’m lifting up my window
just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars
won’t you hear my pleas
It’s apparent that the kid’s in need
I got 89 problems
and 10 more coming
Why won’t anybody listen to me
(See I’ve been) Looking for god
in everywhere but my head
(and I’ve been) Looking for peace
in every place but my heart
(And I searched) High and low,
near and far
But the time and the distance are
what made the wounds depart
I’ve been fighting like Attila the Hun
Think my Achilles is love
Ain’t no safety when all that’s
left is the smoke of the gun
Blood leaking teaches you
to fear being exposed
And every person represents
your next potential blow
So I couldn’t let him touch me,
couldn’t let her close
Couldn’t say I love you
when they needed it most
I’m sorry for the lessons I learned
at your expense
And I know it hurts that you can’t see
my growth in present tense
It’s funny
‘cause you said it would happen
You saw the future
I could barely imagine
Now I dream of us
when insomnia’s at bay
But rest assured
we’re better off this way
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can’t sleep
So I’m lifting up my window
just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars
won’t you hear my pleas
It’s apparent that the kid’s in need
I got 89 problems
and 10 more coming
Why won’t anybody listen to me
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