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Hey girl
I know that as a kid you never got to see that boy band concert on pay per view
But it's OK
Cause I'm here now
And I'm all the boy band you'll ever need

Oh oh oh oh

Girl, I know things haven't always been so easy for you
Kids were mean, and your daddy walked right out the door too
Maybe we should have a session, address your anxiety and depression
Cause I got a funny feeling if we do

Baby, you can kiss all your childhood traumas goodbye
You're never gonna miss all that stress you've been keeping inside
All your psychological problems
Girl, we're gonna solve them
'Cause we're not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We're also a team of licensed mental health professionals

We'll help you understand the reason that your mom made you sad

And why every man you date is just
A stand in for your dad

We'll stop revisiting your fears
Once we wipe away your tears

Trust us, girl, your prognosis isn't bad

Baby you can kiss all your unexplained symptoms goodbye
You're never gonna miss all those nightmares in which you tend to die
We'll get you through those developmental stages
That you've been stuck in for ages
'Cause we're not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We're also a team of nationally recognized
Mental health professionals
Trained in cognitive behavioral therapy
With specialties in

Personality and sleep disorders
And love