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Yo Jam, this is a letter to you
It’s been a while but it’s been hard
for me to get in the booth
Since we last spoke
I’ve become a father of two
Trying to live life with a smile
but that’s been harder to do
Coz all I wanna do is
talk about you
But these tears won’t let me
talk about you
We should’ve known that
we’d be lost without you
Therapy sessions digging
deep in depression
I got a life full of blessings
but this just breaks my fucking heart
At your birthday
couldn’t even crack a smile
I just cried and left the party,
Neesh I’ll see you in a while
Headed to the mural,
got some jerk wings and plantain
Coz that is the way that me
and you would celebrate it
I never knew you touched the stuff,
coz you’d always bad me up
If you saw me more than drunk,
you always hated what it does
Before Lyra I just stopped,
I haven’t even wanted one
I can’t get over this is fucked,
man I wished I’d known
Yeah we cried for nine nights
at your family home
Laid you to rest in the ground
but without a stone
You know it hits me most
at moments now when I’m alone
Every morning I remember
that you’re really gone
Coz it’s been a long night
and I cry coz I miss my brother
You know for life,
got your sis and mother
Day and night it still hits
that you’re gone
And right now
I’m spilling tears in my cup
You left the world before
you met Jupiter
Wish you’dve known
you would be godfather
You would’ve loved loving
my little girls
If not for them I’d be done
with the world
Was there two hours after you passed
Speeding east to west silent
in the back of the car
Was at your mum’s there all week
trying make sense but I can’t
And although it’s been a year
still feel the pain in my heart
Coz you were there from the start
The day we met yeah I moved
in and we were never apart
People assumed that we were
lovers but were brothers in arms
Symbiotic bond of love
and gave each other
a chance, my god
Ah
Fuck sake, lately I’ve been crying
so much my lungs ache
Teardrops all over my shirt
like blood stains
And I know to heal a heart
it must break
But I’m done praying
They gave me a shovel
at your burial and
Watching you get lowered is
something I can’t forget at all
People find and stop me
in the street and say it’s terrible
But they don’t know you
like I knew you and they never will
No one saw the nights turn
into day when we were
battle rapping
No one saw the belly laugh,
and every train to
somewhere random
No one saw the holidays,
and then our first
experience clubbing
No one saw the things you did
for me and never asked for nothing
No one read the conversations
of the moves that we were planning
No one knew about the way
you felt the scene
left you abandoned
No one knew about
your fears coz you would
hide them with a smile
No one knew when people
took an inch you would
give them a mile
Coz that was always Jamal,
sb to the crowd
They used to shout your net worth
but they don’t mention it now
They talk about your good
deeds and infectious smile
A golden heart that’s still
remembered is worth
more than a crown
I promised 64 bars and now
I keep it to Tanisha, mummy,
Isaac, the gang
but I just wish that you’d seen it
I can’t accept that
you’re gone or the grief I’m feeling
I prayed to God for answers
but he still won’t give me a reason
I think about you every day,
nothing will take this pain away
I’ll keep your legacy amazing mate
The conversations at
your grave’s the only
way to be close
I know you’ll greet me
with a smile on the day I go
Coz it’s been a long night
and I cry coz I miss my brother
You know for life,
got your sis and mother
You know I cry coz I miss
my brother, my brother
Was SBTV